Today Megan (my cousin) took me to Julie & Julia (we got in free because she works there). It was a really good movie, which made me happy because I had heard some people hadn't liked it and thought it was a slow movie, but I loved it.
If you haven't seen the movie the basic premise is that Julie (Powell, the author of the book the movie is based from) works her way through Julia (Childs, the world renowned cook) cookbook. She gives herself 365 days and there were 540-ish recipes in the cookbook. She then wrote a blog about it, which became really famous, she was offered book deals, etc.
But the point of the movie was that she decided to do something, gave herself a deadline, accomplished it, and it changed her life. So, when I came home I was 1. Hungry (I can't watch food and not want to eat...its the reason I can't watch the food network) 2. Inspired...I decided to cook something...experimentally too. I made soup that I used canned chicken noodle soup and some leftover chicken I needed to cook before it grew salmonella and walked away...so I created this soup concoction that is pretty good...its missing something...but I'm not quite sure what yet. And then, I made apple crisp from apples my mother had given me weeks ago (that luckily were not rotten as I had initially feared) which is pretty much one of the most delicious things I've ever made. All in all, I'm pretty impressed with myself. The soup is not quite as good as the amazing chicken parmesan that I made for Blaise and I...but it certainly was good.
Anyway...now that I've gotten the cooking inspiration out. There is this other bit of inspiration that I got from this movie. Julie started her blog and her cooking project because she had never finished anything in her life, she wasn't fulfilled by her work. She needed something to focus on to keep her going. And I was wondering what is this thing in my life? I mean...I've been writing this blog since I was in HS and while I agree that it has gotten me through things by getting my mind off of things I haven't really had a project to keep me moving. I mean...I think that's been my big problem this summer, I haven't DONE anything. I'm so burnt out I've even stopped sending in job applications...and that makes me feel even worse about myself. But its because I've sent out so many resumes and gotten such terrible results that I'm starting to wonder if its even worth it anymore.
So what is my project? I made a list of 101 in 1001...and while I am doing ok on it...I guess part of me feels like that's not a short enough time. I guess I need more short term goals than long term goals. I said I was going to make goals of things to accomplish over the summer...but the top of the list was find a job, get an apartment, pick out furniture, etc. And that didn't happen...and I guess it makes me feel like a failure...and that seems really strange because I just read or heard recently that saying about how there is no such thing as failure...there is only do and not do....or whatever it is. But I still feel it. That longing to have a project....a goal...maybe my new goal should be finding a goal? Wow...that's the saddest goal ever, LOL